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<title>how dead inside do I gotta be? by Red_Shepherds</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25534813">how dead inside do I gotta be?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Shepherds/pseuds/Red_Shepherds'>Red_Shepherds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dungeons &amp; Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons &amp; Dragons - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Inappropriate magic, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Original Character(s), Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:54:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25534813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Shepherds/pseuds/Red_Shepherds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is gonna be a multi chapter fic, apparently. Really did try to write legit pornography for the first chapter, but ended up with dialogue and world-building. So...enjoy that, I guess. This is set right after Theology finished their run of the Tomb of Horrors.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Acererak The Demilich/original nonbinary character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>how dead inside do I gotta be?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay, I'm gonna be real with you Acey-boy, I dunno how this whole…" Theology made a series of elaborate hand gestures "thing is gonna work out." The half elf's ears twitched, laying back against their head as their face began to go pink. Leave it to fuggin Acererak to make them even ask. </p><p>The skeleton lay on the divan, looking at them (they...assumed, since he didn't have eyes), before twitching in a way that Theo knew to take as a smile. He really was kind of gross, and Theology Daegello took a moment to reassess every life choice that had led them up to this point. </p><p>Corellon's sopping wet cunt, I'm an idiot, they thought, before desperately hoping that despite their clerical prowess, Corellon hadn't actually heard them. </p><p>"I have Mage Hand," Acererak finally said, snapping them out of their thoughts, "or, if you're a normie, I own a strap." </p><p>"I put you in a cage, and you think I'm a normie?" </p><p>"Hey, homie, I've seen weirder things today. Some half-elf cleric from the Bronx putting me in gay baby jail doesn't even ping the radar." </p><p>"How do you know what the Bronx is?" </p><p>"I have extensive knowledge of elven settlements. I know of your shining cities, and I'm guessing it was your...mother who was the elf? You've got the bone structure for that to be the case." </p><p>"Ain't even gonna question how ya--were you an elf, in life?" </p><p>"Cambion, actually. I do so love that you asked that before asking if this is necrophilia." </p><p>"It ain't if you consent, right? Might as well ask if fuckin' a lower lifeform like me" they gestured again, making something like jazz hands, "would be beastiality." </p><p>"Well, right now we aren't fucking, unless there's something you didn't tell me. You're just talking my ears off, except oh, wait. Lost those when I died." </p><p>"Yer a piece a' work, y'know that?" </p><p>"Oh, I know. Are you going to get over here and intellectually stimulate me, or should I just go ahead and lock myself in a cage again?" </p><p>"Ya know," Theo paused, voice taking a darker tone, "ya really shouldn't tempt me." </p><p>"Okay, sure." Acererak made a motion with his hands--Time Stop, Theo knew, and when their awareness of their surroundings returned, Acererak was in a cage, reading a book--a million ways to make elf stew, apparently. </p><p>Theology sighed, and, wordlessly, walked to the bed, falling into it face-down. That hadn't gone according to plan.</p>
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